I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
