I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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