I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
