question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
