i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
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my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
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I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Randomize