I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
