How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
