You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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