Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
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i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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