Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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