I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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