they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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