My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
