Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
