hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize