Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
