i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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