hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
