We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
