your room smells of hookers.
And success
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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