so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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