I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize