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We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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