ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
