woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
