There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Acid is not a monday night drug
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
