Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
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