I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
