I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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