he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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