I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
