How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
