im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
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she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Still dying that you shit outside
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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