hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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