So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Pooping to opera.
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