I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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