Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Randomize
