I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize