I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
