I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
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