Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize