my soul wont recognize me after tonight
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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