Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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