he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
