i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We had sex on a dog bed..
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
