I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
