why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
