I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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