Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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