similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
