Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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