He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
