He told me they were just razor bumps!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
