I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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