Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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