Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
