no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
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people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
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My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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